Stupid Vegetarian!

Okay, I've heard some pretty dumb requests in my line of work but never something this blatantly stupid. So just the other day in walks in a family of four, all adults yet each with the brain capacity of a five year old...that's being generous. I walk over and see if they are ready to order and the daughter, who is probably in her twenties, makes a fuss over not being ready. Okay, give you more time that's cool no need to scowl at me. Five minutes later I go back and offer to answer any questions. Big mistake. The say they are vegetarian and order a salad minus everything but the lettuce and tofu. Then they wanna add papaya to their salad and I say no that can't be done.

The daughter now wants herself heard and again scowls and remarks that people she met told her that my restaurant accommodates special diets. I reply that we do but only to a certain extent just as every other restaurant. There's only so much we can do before the dish tastes like ass and not what its intended to be. Then she tells me the most ridiculous, outlandish, plain old stupid comment ever!
-"I don't eat anything that grows out of the ground, but I'm a vegetarian."

WTF?! Mental eye roll/forehead slap. Naturally my response would've been what the hell do you eat stir fried air? But I walk away and say I'm give them a few more minutes to talk it over. The parents and brother are so annoyed with her and her stupid comments that they begin to reprimand her for making me walk away a third time to the point where she starts to cry. I just smile, it was pretty funny. So I trek my way back and now the brother finally speaks up and says they can't eat rooted veggies...he meant anything thats a root i guess. So the bitch speaks up again and says how so many people told her we would accommodate her special diet and I tell her I have no idea who these people are but I represent the restaurant and as I stated before there is only so much we can do.

It became an ordeal since she just wasn't listening and worse when she says they can't eat garlic or ginger. I tell them that with our receipes those are the two main ingredients and that a few dishes can be made without, however we can't guarantee the dish will taste the same without the two. Bitch starts yelling at me again about how she got so many testimonials and I say the same thing like a broken record. Finally, 20 minutes later I get sick of it all and acknowledge her "special" diet and say if she feels we can't live up to her expectations she is more than welcome to leave and dine somewhere that is more accommodating. She starts shouting that every restaurant is more than accommodating except me. Hello!!! Asian and pan-Asian cuisine requires garlic and ginger for 90% of the dishes you dumb bitch. Go eat at your surf and turf restaurants where you can only eat steam veggies or salad. Oh wait, you can't eat anything that grows out of the ground. Maybe you should start eating meat and get some protein in that pea size brain.

By the way, the rest of the family who was on that special diet ate everything and then some while praising how good the food was. Maybe you were adopted cuz you sure didn't belong in this family.